An Unplanned But Welcome Trip

I am making an unexpected trip to my sister's house tomorrow. She is in a bind and needs some help. I'm delighted to be able to help out. Plus it's always nice to have some new scenery.  The only problem is, I have such a hard time leaving to come back because her house is so much fun!

I don't know how long I'll be gone, but hopefully, it will only be a week. So please check back then. If I can get her computer running, I'll post from there.

Don't you just love how precise my plans are? See you soon!

Just Keeping It Real

Did you watch the Superbowl?  I sat through watched the first half. I wasn't really into the game. I was mostly interested in the commercials...and the food my brother prepared. I found the commercials to be a snooze but the food was fabulous! I ate too much.

I'm told by the guys that we're happy for New Orleans. Honestly, I'm happy for any man who devotes his life to football and makes it to the Superbowl. What a thrill it must be for them! Hopefully, the players for Indianapolis will remember that tonight. Being second is much better than being third. Be grateful.

It was a quiet weekend here. I stayed in sweats and didn't even wear mascara. It came in handy for the moments where I forgot to be grateful for what I have, and instead cried and felt sorry for myself. I don't play football, so the same 'be grateful' rules don't apply to me. Just in case you wondered.



This is my puppy, Po. She's been visiting at my mom's house since Christmas. I finally got her back a couple days ago. I can't believe how much I missed her! I'm not much of an animal person, but this dog has my heart. She looks like my grandma. Sometimes I wonder if it is her, reincarnated. I tried to find a picture of grandma so I could show you. But all my pictures are in storage. I'm sorry. I know you must be disappointed.

I can almost see your little eyes getting droopy after reading this nonsense. I'm just trying to keep it real. This is my life. Hopefully, the new week will bring some excitement. For my sake as well as yours.

What To Do

Lately, I've been trying to decide what my next life step will be. I am torn between getting a job, going to school, or keeping my head in the sand and refusing to accept my reality.

To tell you the truth, the third option is my favorite, however, sooner or later I will have to face either option one or two. Or maybe a combination of the two. Even thinking about it overwhelms me.

I loved being home with my kids. They're grown and gone, yet I'm still just a phone call away. At any time, day or night, they know where to find me and I am instantly avaliable.

I gave up my marriage, my home and my life. But the thought of giving up that connection with my kids pains me the most. This is why, I prefer to keep my head in the sand. The other choices will hamper my availability.

I am old and I really don't care to start over now. But I can't see any other option, so here's the thing. I need help deciding what to do. If I work, I have certain requirements due to my health. I need to sit. I shouldn't work directly with the public and I need to make enough money to support myself. Can you think of any jobs for me yet?

I think what I'd like to do is Medical coding for a hospital. It is a job that would meet all of my requirements. Because I don't have a clue how to do the job, I'd have to go to school. But where? Online or in class? Just school, or work and school? I just don't know!

I have added a poll in my sidebar. Please take time to participate. I am really serious. I need help knowing what to do. I would love to hear any ideas you might have in the comments also.

Thank you so much!

Simple Lessons I've Learned The Hard Way

I have to be up early in the morning so I don't have time for a regular post. You might notice, I usually write late. I always seem to post just after midnight. I do my best work when it's late.

I've been trying to be consistent and post most days. So for my fellow night owls who are looking for something new to read, this is for you.

 Five Things I've Learned During My Divorce

1. Never, ever judge others. Ever. You might think you know what is happening in someone else's life, but you don't. I wouldn't say I was a judgmental person, but I loved guessing why others did what they did. I was probably wrong 100% of the time. My life is the only one I should be dissecting.

2. Always look for the silver lining. I don't care how bad things are, there is a silver lining. Trust me. I've been to 'you know where' and back. Several times. I couldn't always see the good in my bad, but I've learned it's there. I just wasn't looking hard enough.

3. Enjoy today. My entire life has been about looking to tomorrow or longing for yesterday. I just did not know how to just relax and enjoy. I do now. My yesterdays went too fast, and my tomorrows (as I had them planned) never came. That is why today is so important. Every single day matters.

4. Stop judging myself. I was never satisfied with me. I was too fat, or I didn't have as many talents as my neighbor. My brownies never came out right. My face was too long. The list went on and on. I know now, I prevented others from loving me because I didn't love myself. I think of everything I've learned, this hurts the most.

5. Finally, ask for help when you need it. This was extremely difficult for me. I am a very private person and prefer to handle things myself. I finally had to ask for help. I had no choice. But I found others opened their hearts to me and wanted to help. I wasn't the burden I felt like I was. In fact, by keeping everything to myself, I shut others out and they felt like I didn't care about them.  So much of my life could have been different if I had only understood this.

These lessons of mine are basic though powerful. Because of them, I've finally learned how to love myself. I never dreamed the day would come where I could feel proud of me now...not when I lose ten pounds, or when I have the cutest clothes or the best furniture. But now.

You probably wonder what was wrong with me that I didn't know how these simple things would enrich my life. I know now.  That's what matters.

Felix and 'Oscar'

I've mentioned before there are two foreign exchange boys living at my brothers house with us. I'm being truthful when say they are one of my favorite reasons for living here.

These boys have no idea how much they've helped to heal my heart. They make me laugh every single day. I miss my own sons like crazy but having these two around lessens the pain. I'm positive my heart will break a little when they have to return home in the spring. I can't even think about it!

This is Malte and Felix. Malte is from Sweden and Felix, from Germany. These fabulous pictures were taken during our trip to Scotty's Castle a few weekends ago. It was a long day, but we had a great time.



Malte loves to sing. Constantly. He is one of the most opinionated people ever! But it's funny. I don't care what we're talking about, he has something to say about it.



Felix always has a smile on his face. I have known him for almost five months and I have never seen him angry. He rolls with the punches and is a perfect compliment to Malte.



Malte once told me girls are stupid but boys are great 'because they can do backflips'. I didn't get it, but it made me laugh anyway. Last night Felix sent a text message to me which said 'Dinner was good.' I replied 'thanks.' He then wrote back 'I tried to send you a creepy note. I wish I could have eaten more dinner.' I went out to ask him what he meant when he said he wanted to send a creepy note. He laughed, as he always does, and said he didn't think I would know who was texting me. I wouldn't have but his full name was on the text. So funny.



Felix helps clean the kitchen. Malte doesn't. Felix keeps the bedroom picked up. Malte doesn't. Felix offers to help. Malte doesn't. Felix loves his computer and music. Malte loves Family Guy.



Felix loves pop tarts. Malte loves food.

They're nothing like my own sons...yet they're exactly the same.

I Can't. I'm Too Old

For years, my mom has been using her age as an excuse for everything: I'm sorry, I can't reach that for you because I'm old.  I wish I could make a sandwich for you but I can't because I'm old. If I wasn't so old I'd watch American Idol with you.

Once in a while she'd change her tune... you want to give me twenty dollars? Well I'm not too old for that!  Let me just say, it makes me crazy!  She pretends not to notice.

Last week, she and her siblings met in Vegas for a fun filled week of prescription bottles and nickle slot machines.  My moms sisters are battling cancer. One has breast cancer and the other, I'm not sure. But it's in a very uncomfortable place. Let's leave it at that. Ok? Because I promise, you don't really want to know.

Anyway, they wanted to get together for maybe the last time. My brother and I were invited to go in for dinner one night and I could hardly wait! For me, there is nothing more satisfying than a buffet and conversation about bowel movements and visits to the doctor. (That is sarcasm, folks) Truthfully, I was looking forward to seeing everyone. My Aunts and Uncles are always so happy. It's infectious.

I have pictures to share but I need to add a disclaimer. The pictures are horrible. None of us can take a decent picture to save our lives. Nor can we sing. What we can do is make an amazing gravy out of anything!



Aunt Jan and Uncle Doug.  Jan is fighting breast cancer. Doug is a very talented clown. I'm serious.
Doug is married to Carol, below.


Aunt Joan and Aunt Carol   Joan is a retired 'mail lady' and Carol was a nurse


Uncle Bruce...dueling cameras!  The happiest person I've ever known!



My cousin Jenny and my big brother   Jenny drives a short bus, my brother is a teacher.
Jenny is the daughter of Bruce and Marge.


Aunt Cathy and Aunt Jan again. Both are fighting for their lives. Bless their hearts



Aunt Marge, Me (my butt looks so huge here!) Aunt Joan and Aunt Carol


The kid table: Vinnie, Bruce, Garrett and Cody (Bruce is my cousin. The others are friends)
Bruce is son of Marge and Bruce. 


My niece Brittany and her husband, Kedzie. Brittany is the daughter of my brother,
shown above.  *Note: I can't believe it, but my mom isn't in any of these pictures. I have
no idea how I missed her. Just imagine her brother Bruce, as a woman, with white hair. That's mom.

 I looked around that night at everyone laughing and talking and I realized, my mom is getting older. Before long that will be me.  Then I can use the "I'm too old" excuse for my kids. I can hardly wait. (Again. Sarcasm)