Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Pity Party

I know I am blessed. I have a roof over my head and food to eat. I have my children who check on me every day. I have good friends who've gathered around me. Who could ask for more than this?

I suppose I'm being selfish, but I feel sad just the same. There are so many things I miss about my old life and I'm having a hard time letting go of them.

I miss my bed. It was cozy, warm and made me feel safe when things were hard.
I miss my home. I was happy there.
I miss my kitchen. I miss my chocolate chips, my wolfgang puck cookware, my wooden spoon. I miss my baking pans and my drinking glasses. I miss being able to cook what I wanted to cook. I miss baking any time I wanted to. I miss my mixing bowls and kitchen gadgets.
I miss the view out my kitchen window.
I miss my neighbors.
I miss my washer and dryer. I loved my washer and dryer.
I miss that safe feeling I used to have.
I miss that messy garage.
I miss my yard and the dreams that went with it. We were going to finish it someday.
I miss the flag my son and I painted on his wall.
I miss the mess Gus used to leave all through the house.
I miss being married.
I miss being loved by someone who I loved back.

Don't mind me. I'm just having a pity party. Divorce hurts.

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