Wednesday, January 5, 2011

My Word of the Year

In the past few days I've read several blog posts by others concerning their words of the year. I'm always intrigued by the words that are chosen as well as the reasons. I love reading throughout the year, when the writer has made a decision, or enriched her life by being focused on her word. I've never before participated, but this year I am.

A little background about me. I am a strong person who when alone feels confident about myself. But if someone else, whether I respect that person or not, questions my ideas or choices, I tend to change my ways to match what they suggest. I quickly become insecure and believe I am wrong.

This has caused many problems for me, and greatly contributed to the failing of my marriage. I became such a wreck inside that I found it hard to function. I was positive every tiny thing I did from making the bed to fixing dinner was wrong. Daddy-O tried his hardest to support me and convince me I was doing great, but the negativity of others overwhelmed me and I could not see any good.

PhotobucketAs much as I've wanted to believe it's not like that any longer now that I am alone, it's not true. I have had a few instances recently that have made me aware the pattern still exists. I recognize I would be unable to have a future marriage succeed if I do not overcome this tendency.

Therefore the word I have chosen to focus on is True. Not only do I want to have honest and true relationships with others, I very much desire the same in a relationship with myself. I want to be true to my intuitions and my feelings. I will not sway to please others because I automatically assume my ideas are wrong...or not as good as theirs. I will stand firm and be proud of what I do. More importantly, I will be proud of who I am.

From time to time I will share how I'm doing. I hope you will keep me accountable and not let me get away with becoming lazy and not becoming my word.

If you have also chosen a word to focus on this year, please leave a comment or a link to your post explaining it. I would love to read your inspiration!

1 comment:

ShEiLa said...

I think that you took a huge step in becoming TRUE by letting us all know that you see a problem that you want to change. That takes courage and strength.

I too worry a ton about what others think... and because I always try to please... I find myself doing things for everybody else.

I just can't believe that even if you stayed the same... that someone would not love you just the way you are.

I think it is brave that you want to change... for you. That is probably the best reason ever.

I am not sure right now what my WORD would be for this year. But I am going to give it some thought and come back later. I may even do a post about it.