Sunday, October 23, 2011

What's New

(I accidently hit publish before I was finished writing this post, so you might have already seen part of it in your reader. I'm so sorry for any confusion or trouble this might have caused.)

It was never my intention to stop posting here on my blog. I hit a rut and I couldn't seem to pull myself out. I was feeling depressed and I couldn't find light inside of me to share for anything! I didn't want this to become a negative place, in spite of how I was feeling, so I thought I'd take a week or so to get a grip and come back with a smile. The only thing is, it's taken longer than a week.

Please understand. I know how blessed I am. I truly do. I've had many trials the past couple of years, but I've also had loads of good things come my way too. It's just that sometimes it's so overwhelming and I find myself wishing for what I don't have, rather than being grateful for what I do. It's a constant struggle.  But enough commentary... I want to tell you what's been happening this past couple of months.

The good news is, I was found by a Social Security Judge to be disabled, and therefore, I am now receiving disability payments every month. I earned the right to these payments through my work history in the past, so I feel good about it. I have enough to pay for my current needs, with some left over to start a savings. I cannot tell you what a relief this is for me.

I am also eligible for, and receiving benefits from Medicare. I am probably most excited about this.  It's been a long time since I've had the opportunity to take care of myself medically and it's been a constant worry. The first thing I did was to get an MRI. I was about two years overdue and I had a feeling something was wrong.  I was right. Something was wrong.

I was diagnosed with two brain tumors, that are big enough to come out. There are two more that have not grown much, so that's the good news. I am waiting for a call from the family neurosurgeon (I'm not kidding. We have one of those). Hopefully I can get an appointment to see him soon and get this over with quickly.

I have been experiencing constant bouts of dizziness and occasional moments of nausea. It may not sound like much, but it's exhausting.  I am almost looking forward to brain surgery. I just hope recovery is quick. I can handle anything if it will heal quickly.

So there you're caught up with what's been going on with me. Sort of. At least, all I care to share right now.

I just felt you all deserved an explanation. I looked at my tracking history yesterday and was touched so many of you are still coming by to check on my blog. It means so much to me! Thank you.

I am hoping to be back better than ever in a month or so. I miss blogging and hearing from my friends, old and new. Please keep me in your prayers. I would appreciate it. Also, if you're a facebook friend, I am asking you don't comment there about my health as I have yet to tell Gus about it. He is so far away, on deployment, and I know he will worry. I am waiting until the last minute to tell him so he doesn't have to spend time worrying. Thank you.


Lin said...

I'm glad you're taking care of yourself now & that you're getting a SS check. Times are tough & it's a heck of a lot harder when you don't have money.

Take it easy. And, you can bet you'll definitely be in my prayers. Good luck sweets.

Kattrina said...

That's so scary!! I am so glad that you got disability and Medicare though. What a relief - and just in time. Good luck with surgery and I'll be keeping you in my prayers!!

Ryan and Mistie said...

Jaaaaaaannneee!!! I. Have. Missed you!! I am so glad that the disability came through. I am so glad for you. Let's watch the weather and find a day to get together. :O) Let me know what you need. I am just not that far away.

ayu said...

keeping you in my prayers dearest. :)

Paula said...

Holy Cow.. what a lot you have going on.
I hope everything goes smoothly and you get relief quickly.